With plenty of airlines now offering secluded private cabins

May 2008 Archives

canada goose uk outlet For starters, they’re tiny. And they usually stink. And, well, it’s a toilet. Do you know what everyone’s been doing in there for the last 13 odd hours? canada goose uk outlet

Canada Goose Online But regardless of all that, people will think you’re a legend if you’re in the Mile High Club. It might be uncomfortable, it might smell a bit, but, like going to the top of the Eiffel canada goose hybridge lite uk Tower, it’s nice to be able to say you’ve done it. Canada Goose Online

Trouble is, I don’t actually know anyone who has. In fact, before Ralph Fiennes took a fancy to a Qantas hostie named Lisa Robertson, I was almost sure the entire thing was a myth perpetrated by the airlines to get us all interested in flying.

canada goose uk black friday As you may have gathered, I’m not a member of the club. About the closest I’ve ever come to joining is getting the phone number of a girl who worked in the airport or the time a cute hostie’s butt brushed my elbow on her way down the aisle. canada goose uk black friday

canada goose uk shop Maybe I’m just unlucky. And maybe all my friends are just unlucky (or they’re lying). canada goose uk shop

So I’m no expert on the topic. But, in the interests of hard hitting, quality journalism, I’ve come up with the four ways I reckon it’s possible to join the club.

Maybe it’s just me, but when I’m flying alone I always end up sitting next to some sweaty bloke who wants to show me photos of his kids. I rarely, if ever, end up next to someone I would even consider doing the horizontal bop with, and even then, the chances of them wanting to do the same with me, and one of us getting around to suggesting that scenario and taking action, seem infinitely slim.

And yet, people reckon this happens. Branson reckons this happens. There’s a Mile High Club website dedicated to stories of this happening (although that either means there are far more amorous Swedish twins travelling the world than I’d thought, or this stuff’s being written by pimply teenage boys with too much time and, I suspect, other things on their hands).

However, if all the stars align, and you do wind up sitting next to those agreeable twins who can’t wait to drag you off to the toilet when the lights go out, more power to you. I just can’t see it happening.

The canada goose langford uk last canada goose outlet england way to join the club and, let’s face canada goose uk customer service it, the cheat’s way. With plenty of airlines now offering secluded private cabins to first class passengers, it’s never been easier for the rich folk to earn their badge.

(I realise mile high fornication is officially banned by the airlines, but you can’t tell me it doesn’t still happen.)

The first class approach seems a little too comfortable and safe to me but maybe I’m just jealous.

Are you a member of the Mile High Club? How did you join? Or do you think it’s all a bit of a canada goose outlet in montreal myth?

A fair amount of joy, for sure. But also, a fair amount of frustration, more than my share of financial heartache, a dusty snowboard taking up space in my laundry, probably around 150 hours at the wheel of a car, and a weird lump on my clavicle where the bone didn’t set properly.

Year after year I’ve saved my pennies and sacrificed many a boozy night out for my annual pilgrimage to the snow.

uk canada goose outlet But this year, as the cool weather rolls in and I start staring longingly at my collection of hilarious novelty beanies, I’ve promised myself things are going to be different. This year, I’m not going. uk canada goose outlet

Canada Goose Jackets The worst thing about snow trips begins the minute you book one. I call it “snow worries”. It usually sets in for me the minute I’ve hit “confirm” to transfer the money to a travel agent. From about April onwards I’m then glued to the website of whichever resort I’m going to, constantly checking the weather forecasts and the web cams to see if the place will be covered in the white stuff by the time I make up there. Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose Outlet I have about the worst luck imaginable with snow conditions. I went to Thredbo a few years ago just a week after a major dump. By the time I’d arrived it had all melted, then, charmingly, been frozen again, coating the entire mountain in a nice canada goose outlet canada fluffy sheet of rock hard ice. Canada Goose Outlet

canada goose I’ve forked out to go to New Zealand a few times, but seriously regretted the year I went early in the season when flights were cheap, only to find Queenstown’s Coronet Peak had been nicknamed “Concrete Peak”. And concrete it was. canada goose

I also worked a season at Winter Park canada goose uk online store ski resort in Colorado, and they’d been having a pretty average snow season until I broke my collarbone after hitting a piece of ice. The next night they got 18 inches. My flatmates, apparently, had to shovel snow off the porch just so they could get out the front door.

I find the window for postcard perfect, up to your knees, fluffy, joyous snow is different for every destination. In the US and Canada, I reckon you get about cheap canada goose 30 40 days of it a year. Europe, although I haven’t been there, sounds like it’s about the same. In New Zealand, your window is down to about 20 days. And in Australia? About five to 10. If you’re lucky.

canada goose factory sale In fact, the only place you can guarantee you’ll get the conditions you saw in the brochure is that stupid indoor ski slope in Dubai. canada goose factory sale

So when you book a snow trip, you’re playing a lottery. Your odds of hitting that magical window of awesomeness are pretty slim, so you’ve got to be happy with paying astronomical amounts of money for pretty average snow conditions.

Ah yes, money. Everyone knows, and seems canada goose uk outlet to accept, the crazy amounts of cash canadian goose jacket you have to part with for anything that has to do with the word “snow”.

When you hit snow country, everything seems to double food, drinks, amenities. And that’s after you’ve paid squillions to get there, plus plenty on your accommodations, lift tickets, ski hire, clothing hire, lessons, child minding, ambulance.

cheap Canada Goose All up, for a week long trip to an Australian ski resort, with eating out and staying in a decent place, I reckon you’re looking at about $1500. If you’re heading to New Zealand, make it $2000. cheap Canada Goose

It’s a question of priorities I guess, but for that much you could fly to Thailand and live like a king for a couple cheap canada goose alternative of weeks. Or head to Malaysia and gorge yourself at the food markets. No snow worries there.

There’s also the apres ski as snow bunnies pretentiously call it which I don’t think is as amazing as the resorts would have you think it is. Ski towns are supposed to be pumping little party towns, but in reality it seems to be mostly snuggling couples and big groups of blokes bragging about how big their, er, jumps were.

Then there are the injuries you inevitably get. Go stand in the medical centre at any ski resort for an hour or so and tell me how much of a good idea skiing and snowboarding is. I’ve managed to get away with a broken collarbone and a few torn shoulder ligaments, but I’ve seen much worse.

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